Advocate and inquire

In an average week, how much of your time is spent in conversations and what percentage of these conversations are effective?

Leaders and teams I work with claim they, on average, spend 80% of their time in conversations. Of concern, they claim only 60% of their conversations are effective.

The net effect is they waste 1.5 days per week in ineffective conversations not saying what they think, not meaning what they say nor naming what they feel. It’s no wonder levels of burnout and stress are what they are.

Effective conversations involve dialogue where both parties advocate their views and inquire into others’ perspectives.

Flourishing teams engage in productive conversations because team members:

• Respectfully share all of what they think and feel is relevant

• Inquire into how others see things differently

• Look to differing perspectives as opportunities to learn

Floundering teams waste time in unproductive conversations because team members:

• Speak from a position they are right

• Came in judgment of other’s differing perspectives

• Don’t inquire into other’s views fearing theirs will be undermined

Joel Peterson, Chairman of JetBlue Airlines, attributed his leadership success to his habit to W.A.I.T. He always asked himself, “Why Am I Talking?” We talk for two reasons, to be understood and to understand. Both matter in equal proportion.

So, to ensure your conversations are more productive, always balance advocacy and inquiry. But here’s the thing, advocate as if you are right and inquire as if you are wrong.