What we all care most about

As it so happens, we all care most about the same three things. Whenever we think, speak, listen, and act, it is our intention to take care of our:

1. Safety
   We are always taking care of our physical and more importantly, our psychological safety. Think about it – the reason we avoid difficult conversations is to stay safe. Because we fear the consequences of speaking our truth, we stay safe in our silence.
   

2. Belonging
   As social beings, we are always moving towards feeling part of something. Being a member of our ‘tribe’ gives us a sense of belonging and identity. We move towards others who value what we value, believe what we believe and do what we find meaning in. Think about it, the reason we say, ‘yes’ when we know we ought to say, ‘no’, is because we are concerned about the impact it may have on our sense of belonging.
   

3. Dignity
   We are always taking care of our sense of worth and value – the  expertise and experience we bring to others. Whenever we feel our worth and value is disrespected or undervalued, we react. The reason we become defensive in response to other’s criticism, is because we feel our dignity is being challenged and disrespected.    

So, how do we take care of these three domains of life? Over our lifetime, we develop ‘conditioned tendencies’ that evolve and become habituated ways we take care of ourselves. These conditioned tendencies are the automatic reactive responses that come into play when our safety, belonging or dignity, is triggered.

In my next blog, I’ll share more about acknowledging your ‘conditioned tendencies’ and how to manage them and at the same time, make it easier for others to work with you.